I've been feeling really bad lately. i always feel sad inside but its been getting worse. I am really stressed out and disappointed in myself. I am struggling to get out of high school and I am 19 years old. I feel like such a failure, not just in school, but also in life. I feel so lonely, even though I have friends and family. I constantly feel alone. I stress out about everything and cry a lot in private or when no one is looking.I feel so overwhelmed by life. I thought i could handle it but I cant. Its really hard and i want to give up. I cant give up because i have to face the world and I don't want to. I want to be happy but I don't know how to be happy. I know what I want in life but I am still confused about who i am and where i matter in life. its really hard for me to open up to people about what truly goes on inside. I don't want them to judged or look at me differently. I still manage to get it together and pretend when I am with other people. I am good at pretending to be ok.
Have you ever felt alone ? Like there wasn't anybody you can trust? I do I don't know what happen its like one day everyone turned against me. People were criticizing me and hurting my feelings. Some people say your haters make you do better but that just makes me want to give up. I cried till my face was swollen. I haven't cried that hard in a really long time.
This is kind of how I feel. Like evryone is talking and getting along , but then there is me sitting bymyself.
Today something weird happened. Tiffany ( mysister Felicia's "friend") came oer when felicia wasn't over ,but Jeremy (Felicia's Husband) was. By the way they live with us. So anyway I thought okay she isnt home but you insist to stay over. So after a while of them being in the room Tiffany comes out and goes to sit in her car. Then Jeremy comes out and says," I gotta take some cloths to her car." Okay why did he say that? andi didn't see him bring a bag out or from the car. If your going to lie then aleast pretend. Don't be dumb and obvius with it. So anyway they sat in that car for a good 20 min. I know you think whats wrong with that? Well I didn't like it. So i went to the window with bonaculars and i started watching them. By the time i came to watch a friend of Jeremy's came over to the car to talk to them. Then after his friend left he gets out and comes back inside. I think he is cheating not just because of this situation but because of other things he has done.I can't do or say anything about this its not my place. Its Felicia's prblem she married him. On top of that she defends everything and when i say everything i mean everything he does she defends it. What do you do in a situation like this?
So I started a new challenge to work out for 60 Days.
I really Hope I stick to and reach my goal.
I can't wait until I see the results with this workout routine Im doing.
Well i know this was really short and all but, Gud bye 4 now! :) LOL
It has been such a long time since the last time i updated my blog!
Not really sure what to write about today but maybe about how i had summer school, and was done with it on July 6th.
Went to Six Flaggs( Had an awesome time! YAY!) LOL
Going to a fashion show tomarrow YAY Cant wait i love Dolce and Gabbana! Dont U LOL
Gud bye 4 now LOL :)
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Im really proud of my sister. she graduated on wen.
Just wanted to say that!
I really hate men! i just hate them. i get annoyed by them, grossed out, irrated by them. I feel good letting this out. They always from when i was younger and now disappoint me. It could be something so little and they still let me down. I can't stand how they are the boss of everything. Boys never really even liked me. some boys would like me like one or 2 out the class but they never flocked around me. I just really cant stand them! They always talk about how bad i look! I wish they would all just fall off the face of the earth.
So today im at school and I had my exams.
I am so happy it is over and done with well kinda.
I go to school Tues. and Thurs
I have more Exams on Thurs.
SO THAT MEANS more time to study!
Gawd I hate school!
Do you hate school?
So I learned a little more about some voodoo and witchcraft today.
I really shouldn't have but i did anyway.
My family from both sides did a lot but my parents and some of my other smart family members didn't get into it.
They just knew of it (Just like me) and how to do some tricks.
We never practiced them though and never will .
THAT STUFF IS NOTHING TO PLAY WITH! Especially the African witchcraft.
so i just got my answer i was raped! That is what a someone called it. IDK i guess thats what it was. I feel so weird about this.
what would you call this?
i remember when i was in kindergarten and this girl would feel on me like down my pants.
would you say that was abuse or what?
i am not sure what you would call that.
Previous PostsLife........................., posted January 26th, 2013
Alone, posted January 24th, 2010, 1 comment
Cheating Husband?, posted October 25th, 2009, 1 comment
New Challenge, posted August 4th, 2009
LOL Who would buy this?, posted August 4th, 2009
Parody to 1st video!, posted August 3rd, 2009
OMG U KNow U want 2 Laugh! :), posted August 3rd, 2009
Omg So Long, posted August 3rd, 2009
This is so Funny! LOL, posted June 12th, 2009
Fight!!!! Fight!!!, posted June 12th, 2009
A Song with great meaning, posted June 5th, 2009
My sis, posted June 5th, 2009
MEN!!!, posted June 5th, 2009, 2 comments
@ School, posted June 2nd, 2009
Voodoo, posted June 2nd, 2009
Just Found Out, posted June 2nd, 2009
IDK U TELL ME, posted June 1st, 2009
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